How to Talk about Trauma in Therapy

When I first sit down with someone in therapy, one questions they might ask me is: “How do I even begin to talk about trauma?” It’s such an important question, and one I want to gently unpack with you here.

I also see people who don’t consider that they have experienced trauma. They may have very little memory of anything happening in their lives that could be considered traumatic, yet their body shows me do not feel safe. They don’t feel safe to feel their emotions or what is going on in their bodies. They may stay busy all the time to avoid being with their own experience, their breath may be very shallow or they may not feel many sensation in their body.  If I use the word ‘trauma’ to describe their experience, often they reject it straight away and may get anxious at the idea that they have experienced trauma.

Trauma can feel heavy, complicated, and sometimes unspeakable. The very idea of putting words to it may bring up fear, shame, or doubt. Some people worry: “Does talking about trauma help, or can talking about trauma make it worse?” Others wonder if it’s even safe: “Is it ok to talk about trauma with your therapist?”

In this article, I’ll share some reflections on how to talk about trauma in therapy, why it matters, and what to expect. I’ll also address some common fears, like why do people laugh when talking about trauma? and whether a therapist might ever talk about their own trauma.

My hope is that by the end, you’ll feel more supported, prepared, and empowered to approach this delicate but deeply healing conversation.

Why Talking about Trauma Matters

Let’s start with the heart of the question: Does talking about trauma help?

The short answer is: yes – but it depends on how, when, and with whom you do it.

When trauma remains unspoken, it often lives inside us in fragments – sensations, memories, emotions – that resurface in ways we don’t always understand. Anxiety, hypervigilance, numbness, or intrusive thoughts may be signals of unresolved experiences.

By learning how to talk about trauma in therapy, we begin to:

• Make sense of what happened in a safe and contained space

• Reduce shame by sharing the burden with a compassionate witness

• Integrate fragmented experiences into a coherent story

• Reclaim a sense of power and choice in how we relate to the past

It’s important to know, though, that talking about trauma doesn’t always mean retelling every detail of what happened. Often, therapy focuses on the feelings, beliefs, and body sensations connected to the experience, rather than the events themselves.

Is It OK to Talk about Trauma with Your Doctor?

Many people wonder if it’s safe or appropriate to bring up trauma with their GP or specialist. The answer is: yes, it is absolutely okay. In fact, sharing your history can help your doctor better understand symptoms that may otherwise seem unrelated – things like chronic pain, sleep issues, or digestive problems, which are often linked to trauma.

That said, not every doctor has specialist training in trauma-informed care. If you feel dismissed or misunderstood, please know it’s not a reflection of your worthiness to be heard. You always have the right to seek out a trauma-informed therapist, psychologist, or counsellor who can offer the depth of support you deserve.

The Fear: Can Talking about Trauma Make It Worse?

This is such a valid concern. Many people fear that if they open up, they’ll become overwhelmed or “fall apart.”

So, let’s be honest: yes, talking about trauma can feel more difficult before it feels better. Sometimes revisiting painful experiences brings emotions to the surface. However, when done in a supportive therapeutic relationship, this process becomes part of the healing.

The key is pacing. A good therapist won’t rush you or push you into details you’re not ready to share. Instead, they’ll help you build resources – grounding skills, self-regulation tools, safe places – so you can stay connected and steady as you explore your story.

So rather than asking, “does talking about your trauma help?” I encourage you to ask: “Am I in a safe space, with enough support, to talk about this right now?”

Why Do People Laugh When Talking about Trauma?

This might sound surprising, but it’s actually quite common. Many people giggle, smile, or even laugh while sharing deeply painful memories.

This doesn’t mean the trauma wasn’t serious or that the person is being dismissive. Instead, laughter is often a defence mechanism – a way the nervous system tries to release tension or make the unbearable feel a little more manageable.

If you notice yourself laughing when you talk about trauma, it’s okay. A compassionate therapist will understand and may gently explore what’s happening underneath the laughter.

How to Talk about Trauma in Therapy: Practical Tips

When you’re ready to begin, here are some gentle steps that might help:

1. Start with Safety

Before sharing details, tell your therapist about your fears. For example: “I’m worried that if I start talking, I’ll become overwhelmed.” This helps set the pace and ensures your therapist can support you.

2. Use Broad Strokes First

You don’t have to launch into every detail. You might start with: “Something happened when I was younger that still affects me,” or “I’ve been through experiences I don’t fully understand.” Let the therapist guide the process.

3. Listen to Your Body

Pay attention to physical signals – a tight chest, racing heart, or restlessness may mean you’re reaching your limit. It’s okay to pause, breathe, or even change the subject.

4. Bring in Metaphors or Images

Sometimes words feel too sharp. Metaphors can help, like “It felt like being trapped in a storm,” or “I carry this heavy backpack all the time.”

5. Use Writing or Art

If speaking feels too hard, you might write a letter you don’t send, sketch, or jot down words on paper to bring into therapy.

6. Allow Yourself to Go Slowly

Healing is not a race. You don’t need to cover everything in one session. In fact, the slower you go, the more sustainable the process becomes.

Will They Talk about Their Own Trauma?

Another question I hear is: “Will the therapist talk about their own trauma?”

The short answer is: rarely, and only if it directly benefits your healing. Therapy is your space, and most therapists will keep their personal stories private to keep the focus on you. Occasionally, they may share a small piece to normalise your experience, but it’s never about shifting the spotlight.

TED Talks about Trauma: Finding Inspiration

Sometimes, it helps to know you’re not alone – that others have walked this path and spoken about it publicly. There are many powerful TED Talks about trauma where survivors and professionals share insights on resilience, healing, and the courage to speak out. While watching, remember that your own process may look different, and that’s okay. Inspiration doesn’t mean comparison.

Does Talking about Past Trauma Help?

This is a nuanced question. Simply recounting trauma over and over without support can sometimes reinforce distress. But in the right context – with grounding, safety, and therapeutic guidance – yes, talking about past trauma helps integrate the experience so it no longer has the same grip over your present life.

I’ve witnessed people shift from being haunted by memories to being able to recall them with more distance and compassion. The trauma doesn’t disappear, but the way it lives inside the body and mind changes.

My Reflection on Talking about Trauma

I remember my own first attempts to talk about painful experiences in therapy. The words caught in my throat. I laughed at odd moments. Sometimes I wanted to walk out of the room.

And yet, slowly, as I felt seen and held in that space, the stories began to loosen. I didn’t need to share every detail – what mattered was the sense that I wasn’t carrying it alone anymore.

That’s the power of therapy: not just in the talking itself, but in the presence of another human being who listens with compassion.

Final Thoughts

Learning how to talk about trauma in therapy is a journey in itself. There is no perfect script, no right or wrong way. What matters most is that you feel safe, supported, and respected as you share at your own pace.

If you’re wondering, Does talking about your trauma help? I would say: yes, when you’re ready, and with the right support, it can be profoundly healing.

So perhaps the first step isn’t telling the whole story – it’s simply beginning with: “There are things I want to talk about, but I’m not sure how.” That sentence alone opens the door.

And remember: you don’t have to walk through it alone.

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