My friend sent me a link last week with a message that said, 'You need to read this.' I read it. It was convincing, well-written, completely plausible. Then I googled it and found an equally convincing, equally well-written article that said the exact opposite. I sat there for a moment with a strange feeling in my chest — not quite anxious, not quite angry — more like something in me had quietly decided to stop trying. I just felt flat. Done. That flatness is worth paying attention to,...

Emotional regulation is one of the most commonly used phrases in therapy, psychology, and mental health education. It’s often presented as a skill we should all develop in order to cope better, communicate more effectively, and feel less overwhelmed. But in practice, I see how this concept can quietly cause harm. Many people come into therapy believing they are failing at emotional regulation. They think they’re too reactive, too sensitive, too emotional, or not disciplined enough to manage...

Mindfulness is often offered as the answer to distress. Feel anxious? Be mindful. Overwhelmed? Breathe and observe. Stuck in your head? Come back to the present moment. And yet, many people sit across from me and quietly admit something that feels almost shameful to say out loud. ‘I’ve tried mindfulness. It doesn’t help. Sometimes it makes things worse.’ If that’s you, there’s nothing wrong with you. And you’re not failing at...